I want to get personal today and I want to be real. I want to leave the fashion and makeup to one side for a minute and bare my soul a little.
In the last six months I have stopped living alone and gotten myself a flat mate, lost 12 lbs, gained 10 lbs, endured the worst break up of my entire life, visited six different cities in four different countries, healed my past, forgave my father, became vegan, found my faith, discovered my calling, began to like myself, and still managed to get some shopping in. ;)
Needless to say, I have A LOT to fill you in on. I am told that this "time" of my life, which I have been referring to as "rock bottom" ha, is not only necessary for personal growth, but also a HUGE blessing. Hmmm...
Ok so I am still trying to sort out this "single" thing. It's pretty obvious that when you don't have a boyfriend to lay in bed and do nothing with, you go out. I'm trying to get on board with this, but without fail, in the midst of my fun this buzzer always goes off in my head saying: "Ok. Times up. Time to go home" and for a few months that's exactly what I would do. On command I would politely excuse myself, walk home, listen to some music, pray, cry... you know... normal, broken heart activities. Lately, my internal clock has changed it's tune. I feel so much more like myself again and I honestly believe this is down to a change in routine, distraction and time being the best healer of all.
I was religious about facing the end of my relationship head-on, without any crutch. I wasn't out clubbing or hitting up random dudes or even worse.. cutting my hair. But anyway, with 6 months single under the belt I feel like, well now that I have mastered the Taylor Swift 1989 Album, eating all the carbs, nagging the hell out of my best friends, and wearing face masks all day, what is the next step of easing into reality? How can I challenge myself, yet stay in my comfort zone as I continue to heal? And I was like... I know, I will just take all of those things with me and see as much of the world as my annual leave will allow!
So I went to America, Poland, Greece, Morocco, back to America in September and more of Europe later this year. At first I thought I was just running away from it all and these were just temporary highs but actually they've helped me with the healing process and self growth and I would totally recommend it!
I'm not really sure what I'm trying to get at here but I just wanted to be a bit more raw for a change. We are all human after all and we all feel.
Thanks for listening.